The Surprise of Brief Encounters

It is not through world-shaking triumphs that we build our life but in the common daily interactions.
Alan Cohen

 Take time to celebrate the quiet miracles that seek no attention.
John O’Donohue

Recently, over lunch my friend Jane recounted a recent experience she had in a hospital waiting room. An older woman and her granddaughter were sitting across from her when Jane noticed that the older woman was wearing the most stunning diamond rings. Jane complimented the woman on her jewelry and that lead to a conversation about her husband and the stories of rings. The conversation carried on and somehow turned to the three of them sharing their love of theatre. Jane happened to mention that Mirvish, a major player in Toronto’s theatre scene, had a sale on that day and the granddaughter immediately checked the website, called her dad to confirm a date night and purchased tickets on the spot for Lion King!

For Jane, that short conversation changed the tone of the day – for the better. Her anxiety disappeared and laughter returned.

As pleasant as this brief encounter was, it was unremarkable in many ways. Three strangers in conversation about theatre. And yet it was genuine- a human connection that touched the three of them. We all have such moments. For example,

• smiling at a stranger and saying hello
• thanking the young person who offers a seat on public transit
• asking the store clerk how their day is going
• opening the door for someone
• expressing admiration for something or someone.

Such encounters happen, and we carry on with our day. We may even dismiss them as insignificant.

Do they matter?

I believe they do. It is true that brief moments may not change much. There may be no purpose or outcome achieved. We may never see the person again. Regardless, such encounters remain with us long after they have passed, lifting our mood or causing us to reflect more deeply.  If that is all they do, then brief encounters have value.

I know how easily I can be somewhere other than where I am. The field of stuff that happened and stuff yet to be done yields nothing but unproductive preoccupation and fretting.  Connecting with someone in a genuine and heartfelt way, however brief, halts that train of thought and brings me back to the present. A pleasing interruption that can shift us in a new direction.

Brief encounters are the quiet miracles that seek no attention.

They can  also be powerful and should never be underestimated.

Many years ago, as a mother of three young children, I was out and about trying to run some errands. It was one of those days in which nothing was happening easily, and I was counting the hours until my husband arrived home. Feeling out of sorts, I somehow summoned a modicum of patience as I coaxed my children to go along with what I needed to do.  A young man in his twenties walked by taking all this in. He smiled and said, “You’re a good mother”.

All I could say was Oh! I have no idea who this young man was, and I never saw him again. All I know is that I had not been feeling like a good mother and those kind words restored faith in myself, giving me the energy and patience I needed.  I will always remember that moment.

What we achieve and accumulate over a lifetime may garner attention for a short while. The reality is that our lives are the collection of moments and daily interactions- they  become the fabric of our days. Such encounters can change everything and nothing, but we have to notice.  A fleeting smile, a gesture of kindness, or words that touch us in some way.  Insignificant? Hardly!

Thanks to my friend Jane for sharing her story and our conversation about the power of brief encounters.